Saturday Nights & Sunday Mornings

The New Counting Crows album came out today. My girlfriend and I drove around doing errands and listened to it straight through twice.

I hope the digital medium doesn't destroy the album. I don't think it will. I think Wilco and The Black Crowes, and Ryan Adams, and The Counting Crows, I think they will defend the honor and the glory of the album.

Anyway, the new album is really good. It's the continuation of a story that Adam Duritz began telling us 15 years ago with August and Everything After. This is the everything after. He still battles insomnia, he still loves Maria, hates himself, wants fame without isolation, intimacy without commitment, and to believe in something beautiful.

If you're not already a fan, this album is a good place to start.

Hold Fast, (especially you Mr. Duritz)

Caulfield

Sweet Little Lies

No banana flavored candy tastes like bananas, but all banana flavored candy tastes the same.

This smacks of conspiracy. I first noticed it once after a trip to the pool in my neighborhood. The pool had a little snack stand. I decided to switch from SweetTarts (chewy, of course) to Now & Laters. They should just call those "Nows", cause that's when I eat them. Or each pack should offer two flavors, one for NOW - cherry, apple, lime, banana, and one for LATER - pickle, ash, sofa.

Back to the bananas. It bothered me that neither my favored SweetTarts nor the N&Ls had captured the essence of the banana. Even Spree and Runts don't have it right. So what's the deal?

Conspiracy. Like the world bank, the moon landing, and Shopping Mall Santas, someone is pulling strings.

As a kid, I pictured the heads of the major candy brands getting together in Canada for a secret summit.

Willy Wonka, Charles Nestle, Barbara Hershey, Sugar Daddy, and Bazooka Joe all got together. Wonka is probably the chairperson for the Pentfectionary.
"Listen folks, I think we're all sinking too much money into extracting the real banana flavor for our candies. If we use real banana juice, the candy turns brown in the sun and gives everyone the runs. It's time to make a decision."

Then they settled on the flavor that has become the ubiquitous character of any banana flavored candy. If you were to give a child a banana flavored SweetTart, a Runt, a Now & Later, and then give them their first banana, they'll think the banana has it wrong.

So is truth simply all of us agreeing to tell the same lies?




Hold Fast,

Caulfield

War on war

I went to a concert with some friends a few weeks ago. There were two opening acts before the headliners came out. (The openers destroyed the headliners, by the way.)
During the first song of the headliner a guy and his girlfriend moved from the back to front where my group had been since before the first act. He wedged himself in so tightly that I couldn't lift my arm to bring my drink to my mouth.
Assuming he simply wasn't aware of the space he was usurping I politely tapped him on the shoulder.
The exchange went something like this:

Me: Hey brother you're stepping all over me here.

Jerk Face: So?

Me: Well maybe this isn't the best place for you to camp out.

Jerk Face: So, move back.

Me: I can't move back, there are people behind me. I don't want to be the rude guy who crushes everyone.

Jerk Face: Are you saying I'm rude.

Me: No, I'm saying there may not be room for you up here.

Jerk Face: Is that a problem?

Me: I guess not man.

Now, this guy was ready to fight. He was willing to battle for his 2'x2' space near the stage. I backed off and I know that backing off was the right thing.

I hate, though, that there was any doubt. I hate all the pressure I felt to be the cool movie guy and either embarrass or physically dominate this little punk.

Now, I don't believe in Karma. But I do believe that if you pee in the pool enough, eventually you're gonna swim in piss.

A few seconds after my encounter, I looked up to see the same Jerk mixing it up with a security guard. I don't know what the issue was, but it resulted in the jerk being thrown out of the venue.

Here were my wants:

• To see clearly what the right thing to do is and do it.
• To kick that guy's ass.
• To rise above violence and use reason.
• To teach that punk a lesson.
• To not feel threatened or bullied by other people's poor choices.
• To make that guy think twice before acting the fool in public.
• To forgive the foolish who choose the lower path.
• To be forgiven for wanting so badly to act like I didn't know better.
• To be calm in the face of adversity.
• To be scary to my adversaries.
• To forgive my enemies.
• To frighten my enemies.
• To be the better man.
• Self-control.
• To be the bigger man.
• Self-control.

I wish I were more like Jesus, Mr. Miyagi, my dad, my mom, Chuck D, most of my friends, and none of my enemies.

Hold Fast,

Caulfield

Beautiful and ...?

When did beauty become a virtue?


Peace,

Caulfield