Sweet Little Lies

No banana flavored candy tastes like bananas, but all banana flavored candy tastes the same.

This smacks of conspiracy. I first noticed it once after a trip to the pool in my neighborhood. The pool had a little snack stand. I decided to switch from SweetTarts (chewy, of course) to Now & Laters. They should just call those "Nows", cause that's when I eat them. Or each pack should offer two flavors, one for NOW - cherry, apple, lime, banana, and one for LATER - pickle, ash, sofa.

Back to the bananas. It bothered me that neither my favored SweetTarts nor the N&Ls had captured the essence of the banana. Even Spree and Runts don't have it right. So what's the deal?

Conspiracy. Like the world bank, the moon landing, and Shopping Mall Santas, someone is pulling strings.

As a kid, I pictured the heads of the major candy brands getting together in Canada for a secret summit.

Willy Wonka, Charles Nestle, Barbara Hershey, Sugar Daddy, and Bazooka Joe all got together. Wonka is probably the chairperson for the Pentfectionary.
"Listen folks, I think we're all sinking too much money into extracting the real banana flavor for our candies. If we use real banana juice, the candy turns brown in the sun and gives everyone the runs. It's time to make a decision."

Then they settled on the flavor that has become the ubiquitous character of any banana flavored candy. If you were to give a child a banana flavored SweetTart, a Runt, a Now & Later, and then give them their first banana, they'll think the banana has it wrong.

So is truth simply all of us agreeing to tell the same lies?




Hold Fast,

Caulfield